Come with me by yourselves to quiet place... Mark 6:31

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Anxiety, Frustration and Discontentment

Lord, I am willing to –
Receive what you give,
Lack what you withhold,
Relinquish what you take.
Respectable Sins
, Chapter 9

I’ve added ‘discontentment’ to my ‘acceptable’ sins in the back of my book.

Before I address Chapter 9, first things first. Chapter 8…I knew anxiety was a sin. Yet I forget to take it one step deeper to the reason it is a sin… firstly because it is distrust of God, and secondly, because it is a lack of acceptance of God’s providence in my life. No matter where I am in my spiritual progress, it seems all my sinful roads lead to distrust. Basic deep-down true belief – to believe Him at His Word - what a gold mine this is to spiritual growth! I learned that belief trumps distrust a few years ago when taking Beth Moore’s Believing God. Do I really believe all things work together for my good? Do I really believe He has a future good plan for my life and for my husband’s life? Do I really believe I matter in the grand scheme of things? Do I really believe when I close my eyes in death I will open them to Christ? Do I really believe He loves my children more than I do? And the clincher… do I really believe He loves me and I am clothed with His righteousness? I say I do. But, if I really do believe, then my battles with worry and anxiety are lessened.

My battles with worry and anxiety have been lessened, but not so with discontentment. Hands down, the thing that got to me the most in these two chapters was this (page 73): We tolerate them (subtle sins) in our lives with hardly a second thought. That makes them more dangerous because, in addition to the basic sin itself, they can open the door for our hearts to greater sin. Discontentment, for example, can easily lead to resentment or bitterness toward God or other people.

Mr. Bridges went on to say that often, the discontented one (that would be me) deals with disappointments with an attitude of resignation – just giving up - which is secretly done grudgingly, leaving a heart full of smoldering deep resentment. Don’t you just love how he articulates a heart’s emotion! In a very short time, smoldering resentment can become a bitter root. I’ve found it to be true. Discontentment, left unchecked, does lead to resentment, and then to a disastrous bitter root. If you are a dreamer like me, then this may hit right between your eyes. I have had dreams and plans that I had to just give up and sometimes the surrender has left a void in my heart full of smoldering resentment. Several years ago I addressed the bitterness in my heart. It took a long time to pull out that root, so I am ever-vigilant regarding something that produces bitterness.

The Good News is that applied Scripture and an attitude of acceptance can turn a heart around – an attitude of stewardship was mentioned in the book. I like that. Just to be on the safe side, I still need a stash of good verses against discouragement… your suggestions?

In closing I want to sum up the prayers we are praying through this study. Here are mine:
- Every blog post God–guided
- Each one of us read the book all the way through
- Read prayerfully with our hearts wide open to God’s truth
- Actually do as God instructs
- Be ready to repent and prepared to change
- The blog would be interactive, encouraging and useful
- God would give us hearts that longs to be in intimate relationship with Him – and we would promptly confess our sins as His Spirit makes us aware
- Open our eyes to our individual ‘triggers’ that cause us to be blindsided by sin

Blessings to you, my precious blog friends!

Discussion for Chapters 8 & 9:
Your comments are the glue holding our blog book discussion together. Several people have commented to me how much the comments have meant to them! There are more people reading along than we know, so comment. You will be encouraged how it helps you solidify your thoughts.
Print out the Discussion segment and answer as you wish, but especially Questions 4 & 5.

1. How did Psalm 139: 16 help you this week?

2. In addition to the ones listed above, what prayers have you been praying through this study?

3. When our faith falters and out situations loom larger in our minds than God’s promises, how should we obey Jesus’ command in Matthew 6: 34 and find hope in Luke 12: 6? What insights does Mark 9: 23-24 offer?

4. Why is anxiety so common in our culture – in our daily activities, in advertising, in news reports? How does the Bible’s teaching about anxiety contradict what modern culture teaches about it?

5. Which other sins often crop up if we tolerate anxiety, frustration, and/or discontentment in our lives?

6. If you became frustrated or discontented, what steps did you take? Or, what steps should you have taken?

7. What other verses have been meaningful to you through these two chapters or through your personal “Preach the Gospel to Myself” project?

For July 22:
Read Chapters 11& 12.
While reading, think of this: Why does God hate sinful pride? How does it minimize His work in our lives?
From the Discussion Guide: “Let’s face our pride and selfishness, knowing that God will help us battle them and become more like Jesus.”

7 comments:

KKelly said...

I'm going to skip around a bit:
4. I think anxiety is common in our culture for a combination of reasons. But for one, we have become such a fast-paced culture, with everything being communicated and therefore results expected *now*! Maybe there is a benefit to a slower paced lifestyle where we don't know as much right now, right away, and wait times are a little longer. But that is a thing of the past.

6. I have tried to remind myself of the "bigger picture" and that the things that are making me frustrated are not all that important in the big scheme of things. I have tried to use verses to remind me of that as well, and to say little prayers during these times, although I must confess they are more like "oh dear God help me" LOL.

I read the Pride and Selfishness chapters last night. These were much more difficult for me than the anxiety and discontent chapters. Pride is something I think we all struggle with, whether we want to admit it or not, but the Selfishness chapter is one that literally made me CRY! It brought me to my knees, made me realize what a terribly selfish person I am. I have always (pridefully) thought of myself as pretty generous and giving of myself to others, but in the contexts Bridges showed, he might have just used me as the exact archetype for the chapter. I am so horribly self-aware of this now that I hope I make some life-changing adjustments in the ways I interact with, well, everyone. I need a major attitude adjustment, and it starts in my heart.

I have been leaning on Isaiah 41 lately. Maybe you all will find encouragement there too.

Lesley said...

Hey, I'm sort of starting with question 3 re. the Mark passage:

I love the “I believe, help my unbelief!” and that is the prayer I’ve been praying these last couple of weeks. I’ve been thinking on what I believe, what I don’t, and where I live out my unbelief (in spite of what I say I believe).

Anxiety is a sing because it is:
1. a distrust of God
2. a lack of acceptance of God’s providence in my life

So I’ve been thinking about God’s providence. If I believe that God’s will for me is better than my plans, then anxiety, frustration, discontent is definitely sinful.

This has also got me thinking about what I believe about the extent to which God orchestrates events. Could God orchestrate every single event? Yes, and I know people that believe that. However, God’s character wouldn’t allow him to orchestrate sinful/evil acts, right? And the Xerox machine breaking is definitely evil, so I don’t think God makes the Xerox machine break. But he is working in all situations through the indwelling Holy Spirit in how I deal with the frustrating event. I have been stopping to think, in frustrating situations, “what needs my attention” and trying to see what God has for me to learn/do.

So, if I have “a firm belief in the sovereignty, wisdom, and goodness of God in all the circumstance of my life”, why am I discontent? I say I have a firm belief, but I obviously really don’t, because not only am I discontent but I frequently veer over into bitterness.

So there’s where I’m asking God to help my unbelief – help me to put into practice in my heart, mind, and soul the thing I say I believe.


4. Why is anxiety so common in our culture – in our daily activities, in advertising, in news reports? How does the Bible’s teaching about anxiety contradict what modern culture teaches about it?

Because we are selfish. I had thought of frustration before as being tied to impatience, and in a way it is, but really for me it’s getting angry at people because their plans are interfering with my plans. It’s saying that my plans are more important than theirs. Generally their plans for driving slowly on the I-565 on ramp or trying to drive up to the last possible place to get on and squeeze in front of me and making me slow down, those are the ones that interfere the worst. But really that’s saying that God’s will for me is more important than God’s will for them. That I’m more important to God than they are. Shameful!

5. Which other sins often crop up if we tolerate anxiety, frustration, and/or discontentment in our lives?

Bitterness - toxic and pervasive and spewing out of every pore of me when it’s moves in.
6. If you became frustrated or discontented, what steps did you take? Or, what steps should you have taken?

I love the “receive, lack, relinquish” quote. I’m using it as a calming mantra.

7. What other verses have been meaningful to you through these two chapters or through your personal “Preach the Gospel to Myself” project?

I have been working on my Gospel and it’s blown itself way out of control. I’ve got to reign in back in. I have like pages of verses and have got to pare it down!

Sylvia Sullivan said...

I finally received my book and have caught up to the scheduled reading. (I love the schedule).
2. I am asking God to help me see and focus on my sins ONE at a time. I tend to see with "buckshot" vision. I see so much at one time that I am overwhelmed. I need God to "focus" me on practicing these simple, vital steps toward spiritual maturity.
3. Matthew 6:34 is an acton command, so I try to "Flip my Brain Switch" and start thinking about something else. Preferably, my thoughts start thanking God for one thing, and then another, etc., until I'm totally engrossed in God's Awesomeness and am no longer focused on the things that may lie ahead.
4. Anxiety today in our world is labeled "stress." This world is filled with an abundance of smartly deviced deceptions. I can't go to the grocery store and buy something on sale or get a BOGO free deal without wondering that somehow the advertising has deceived me. Our society has been conditioned to NOT trust anyone or anything. But, when I actually give GOD a chance and release my anxiety, frustration, and discontentment to Him, I have found that a foundation of trust has been built in me, as God revealed His mysterious and awesome solutions and truths to my circumstances.
7. Commuting each day to work allows me lots of "Preach the Gospel to Myself" time. I am especially encouraged by verses set to music, for instance Revelation 4:11, "You are worthy...

KKelly said...

Lesley, your comments are so insightful! It is interesting how you connected anxiety with selfishness. Great application.

I like hearing the scriptures that others are leaning on, thank you both for sharing!

Shay Brannon said...

1)Psalm 139:16 brings SUCH comfort to me that God’s plan for me and for those I love is safe, secure, and stamped in eternity. So why am I anxious, disappointed, discontented, and frustrated?? All my days were decided on even before I was born. Just as God is unchanging, then I must believe that God’s good path for me is unchanging. Does that keep me from praying and asking God to intervene in whatever is going on in my life? No because seeking God’s will in prayer and dependence on Him transforms my changing character into His unchanging character. I love this verse! This verse shows me just how ludicrous it is to think that God doesn’t oversee every moment of my life.

4)We haven't cultivated the discipline of waiting in our culture. Wait is a bad 4-letter word! I get frustrated at having to wait on my coffee to brew in the morning and am wanting a newer, faster coffee-maker. :) Why wait 5 minutes for brewing when you only have to wait 1 minute?? And because I struggle with waiting, I think I miss so much about what it means to wait upon the Lord.

KKelly said...

Oh Shay that is what I was attempting to say about #4 but you said it so much prettier than I did!

Pam Graves said...

I would suppose my greatest source of anxiety or frustration is in parenting. Trying to reach the heart of five different personalities or temperaments is certainly the hardest challenge I have ever had.

I can see that resting in the sins of anxiety, frustration, worry or discontent just perpetuate the dilemmas of parenting. It actually says, "God, you are not big enough for my situation with this kid."

Where resting in the Father and praying the promises of God over my kids, seeking wisdom for parenting matters affords me the peace of God.

I found it so fascinating that on p 63 the author sites these top three Christian character traits taught most prominently in the New Testament in this order: love, humility, and trust in God.

We are called, as Christ, to love and serve (humility...putting other's needs before our own). It's no wonder trust is third...there's no way we could live the Christ life of loving and serving without a trusting relationship with our heavenly father.

In response to the second part of question #4: The world reacts to anxiety, frustration, and discontentment in a variety of ways including bad language, verbal and emotional attacks of persons we think are causing our frustration, even abusing alcohol or using drugs. However, the bible teaches we are to trust in the sovereignty of God and rest in the peace of God...knowing He has my best interest at heart...He is good and for me.

We are in this world but not of this world. Our response to these mentioned sins should be "inviting" to others. Others should look at our response to situations in life that don't pan out the way we want and say, "what makes her different. I want to be like that."

Finally, I want to confess that I often blow it with my kids. I give into the sins mentioned in these chapters. From question 6, I take these steps when I sin: Recognize my sin, Regroup (making amends), and Renew my mind (confessing and receiving forgiveness from both my offended child and God.

I say something to my child like, "I didn't handle that rightly, please forgive me. (acknowledging whatever sin I committed) I then say, "if I could do it over, this is what I would say". I then speak to their heart relying on the power of the Holy Spirit. There is great beauty in reconciliation and realizing we are all growing up in Christ.